(A father’s advice to his son who’s navigating resistance—particularly when it comes to so-called “chick stuff” like hot yoga.)
1. Recognize the Roots of Resistance
My son, like many young men, sometimes rolls his eyes at activities he labels as “chick stuff.” When his girlfriend first invited him to hot yoga, his default response was, “Nah, that’s not my scene.” It was easy for him to dismiss something unfamiliar, especially when it doesn’t seem to align with his established interests—jujitsu, cars, and other high-octane hobbies.
- Is it truly not your thing? Before deciding, ask if your aversion is rooted in genuine incompatibility (e.g., a real medical issue or fundamental philosophical disagreement) or if it stems from cultural stereotypes and assumptions.
- Spot the stereotype: Men often shrug off yoga as “soft,” while women more freely embrace it. Recognize the social conditioning at play. Sometimes, what we dismiss as “not for me” is actually a missed opportunity to challenge ourselves and discover new skills or pleasures.
2. Envision a Role Model’s Endorsement
If your favorite athlete or a respected mentor talked enthusiastically about hot yoga—or any other activity you usually see as “chick stuff”—would you reconsider your stance? Imagining that role model’s recommendation can shift your mindset. It helps to step outside your personal bubble and consider a broader perspective.
3. Do Your Homework
Dive into the origins, philosophy, and science behind an activity before writing it off. Hot yoga, for example, may appear to be just a sweaty pastime, but there’s a tapestry of history, mindfulness, and health benefits behind it. Understanding these elements transforms your attitude from “Why would I bother?” to “This is intriguing—there’s more here than I realized.”
- Origins and philosophy: Many yoga forms have deep cultural roots in ancient traditions. Learning about them fosters respect and curiosity.
- Health benefits: Modern studies (including randomized controlled trials) often highlight improvements in flexibility, mental clarity, stress management, and physical strength.
4. Embrace Uncomfortable Experiences for Growth
Even if you find an activity challenging or downright unpleasant, it can still be valuable—especially when it supports your relationships or personal development.
- Observe your internal reactions: When the discomfort hits—be it the heat in the studio or the unfamiliar poses—take note of what goes on in your mind. Are you irritated? Do you want to quit? Exploring these feelings trains you to handle adversity more gracefully.
- Leverage curiosity: Turn discomfort into a mindfulness exercise. Stay curious about how your body feels and how your mind reacts under stress. This skillset becomes increasingly crucial as life grows more complicated and responsibilities mount.
5. Avoid Keeping Score in Relationships
If you decide to join your girlfriend in an activity you initially resisted, do so wholeheartedly. Resist any urge to keep an internal “ledger” of all the things you’ve done for her. Relationship joy crumbles quickly when there’s too much mental accounting of who did what.
- Do it for connection, not obligation: See it as a chance to bond, support, and show openness.
- Leave the scorekeeping behind: If you choose to participate, never tally it up later to use as a bargaining chip. That kind of transactional thinking breeds resentment.
6. Celebrate the Human Physique—Yours and Hers
At eighteen, you and your girlfriend are in a beautiful phase of life. Your bodies are strong, energetic, and capable—and an activity like hot yoga can illuminate that in ways you might not expect.
- Body awareness and admiration: Hot yoga offers a space to focus on your body’s abilities—balance, endurance, and flexibility. Experiencing each posture (even if it’s difficult or awkward) can spark newfound respect for what your muscles, bones, and breath can accomplish.
- Shared experience of self-love: Doing this alongside a partner can be bonding. Celebrating each other’s progress, encouraging one another through tough poses, and simply observing how each person’s body moves can deepen admiration and affection.
- Healthy confidence: Cultivating a positive relationship with your own physique (and by extension, your partner’s) fosters self-assurance. It isn’t about achieving a “perfect body” but rather appreciating the uniqueness and strength of each form.
Moving Forward with Mindful Courage
Ultimately, we all benefit from stepping beyond our comfort zones. What may initially seem like “chick stuff” can turn into a powerful tool for self-awareness, resilience, and health. For my son—and for anyone reading—turning initial resistance into a moment of inquiry and openness can transform your outlook on life. This approach goes well beyond hot yoga:
- Ask if your discomfort is objective or subjective.
- Consider a mentor or role model’s perspective.
- Research the background and benefits.
- Use the discomfort as a self-discovery tool.
- Engage wholeheartedly and skip the relationship scorekeeping.
- Celebrate your body and those you care about.
By weaving these steps into your daily mindset, you’ll discover that life’s richness often lies in places you least expect. And who knows? You might just emerge from that hot yoga studio feeling stronger and more connected—to yourself, your girlfriend, and the human experience we all share.